Here I go again...

Later today I'll be leaving for my 2nd Rachel's Vineyard retreat.  I'm so anxious I can barely sit still - which is good for the state of my household since it will be left in pristine condition - not sure what it will look like when I return.  I'm trying not to over think things or analyze seven ways till Sunday but it's difficult. I do have a few goals in mind but I'm trying not to have a plan.

I'm exhausted from fending off doubts and fears and voices and the constant commentary in my head.  I've been trying desperately to focus on the good that I know will come from this weekend, that I'll probably be closer to Grace than I have in a while, and for whatever spiritually may happen.  I can't lie - the idea of the weekend in itself is promising.  I think moms should get an annual retreat every year - preferably a silent one.  They have adoration through the night at the retreat and the idea of sleeping that close to Him gives me goosebumps.

So, I have a little time left to prepare until I actually leave.  I've reached out to a few people for prayers and have received so much encouragement for which I am humbled and grateful. I just wanted to share some of the prayers that have been shared with me over the last couple of weeks or so because I'm sure someone needs them as much, and more, than I do.

Prayer of Surrender

Lord, Jesus Christ, I ask the grace to accept the sadness in my heart, as your will for me, in this moment. I offer it up, in union with your sufferings, for those who are in deepest need of your redeeming grace. I surrender myself to your Father's will and I ask you to help me to move on to the next task that you have set for me. Spirit of Christ, help me to enter into a deeper union with you. Lead me away from dwelling on the hurt I feel: to thoughts of charity for those who need my love, to thoughts of compassion for those who need my care, and to thoughts of giving to those who need my help. As I give myself to you, help me to provide for the salvation of those who come to me in need. May I find my healing in this giving. May I always accept God's will. May I find my true self by living for others in a spirit of sacrifice and suffering. May I die more fully to myself, and live more fully in you. As I seek to surrender to the Father's will, may I come to trust that he will do everything for me.

With Ecclesiastical Approval

Adapted from spiritual teachings of
Rev. Walter J. Ciszek, S.J.From the Father Walter Ciszek Prayer League
http://www.ciszek.org/
 From Sarah Young Devotions - today's devotional...

Instead of trying to "fix" yourself, fix your gaze on Me, the Lover of your soul. Rather than using your energy to judge yourself, redirect it to praising Me. Remember that I see you clothed in My righteousness, radiant in My perfect Love.  Ephesians 2:7-8; Hebrews 3:1; Psalm 34:5 I want you to experience the riches of your salvation: the Joy of being loved constantly and perfectly. You make a practice of judging yourself, based on how you look or behave or feel. If you like what you see in the mirror, you feel a bit more worthy of My Love. When things are going smoothly and your performance seems adequate, you find it easier to believe you are My beloved child. When you feel discouraged, you tend to look inward so you can correct whatever is wrong.

Instead of trying to "fix" yourself, fix your gaze on Me, the Lover of your soul. Rather than using your energy to judge yourself, redirect it to praising Me. Remember that I see you clothed in My righteousness, radiant in My perfect Love. Ephesians 2:7-8; Hebrews 3:1; Psalm 34:5 

And finally, a Prayer for Healing

God our Father,
your are the only source
of health and healing,
the spirit of calm and the
central peace
of this universe, 

Grant me a spirit
of your indewlling
and surrounding presence
in my hour of need
so that I may permit you
to give me health and strength
and peace through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.