The Sixth Street Bridge

The Sixth Street Bridge
At the tender age of 17, I walked across this bridge, alone, into Downtown Pittsburgh, with $300 in my pocket that my mother had given me to get an abortion. I went into the Fulton Building (in the picture) and did what I was told to do. I didn't have a choice - if I did, I wouldn't have chosen abortion.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

What brings you here?

Lately, I've been learning a lot about search engine optimization and keyword strength and web traffic, etc.  I check the stats on my blog from time to time just to see if anyone is reading.  When I see a big upswing in visitors - I know for sure that Mark Shea of Catholic and Enjoying It fame has charitably mentioned my blog again and I remain grateful for his support. 

When I started this blog, my hope was that a few people would read it, or stumble upon it. I had visions of lonely, scared, pregnant teenage girls reading it and find the strength to tell their parents, "No, I will not have an abortion!"  I'll never know the actual reasons why people visit my blog, but I've discovered one interesting trend in my stats concerning keyword searches that bring traffic to my blog.  By far, the largest amount traffic that arrives on my blog comes from people who search for "11 week ultrasound" or some variation of that phrase.  Those words far outrank any other keyword in my traffic. 

It started me thinking - are those web searchers currently pregnant and just curious as to what an 11 week old baby looks like?  My hope is that if it's someone who is pregnant and contemplating an abortion, that they find that ultrasound picture and it changes their mind.  I can't really bring myself to think about if I was given that option before my abortion - it makes me too angry and leads me to spiral to a very dark place.  But, if one person is Googling "11 week ultrasound" to decide on whether to have an abortion or not, I'm glad they were led here and I hope to God they read some part of my blog and at least pause for a moment and rethink things.

It also causes me to wonder about something else... since deciding to go on the March for Life this year and the anxiety I'm having about it, mostly over what some people will stupidly sputter and the ugly signs they will blow up billboard size and carry - I tend to think that pictures of an 11 week ultrasound or whatever week - would be so much more effective.  I don't think showing people what an aborted baby looks like has as much of an impact as showing them what an actual living, breathing, baby with a heart beat looks like before the violence of an abortion.  Those are the signs people should carry outside of abortion clinics and on Marches for Life - show everyone life - and how beautiful and wonderful and ridiculously awesome God is with those beautiful pictures.

Also interesting is down the list of search keywords bringing traffic to my blog is "non communicating uterine horn" and "unicornuate uterus" which leads me to think that my condition is not as rare as the medical community purports it to be.  Interesting...


  1. walking here with a smile. take care.. have a nice day ~ =D

    Regards, (A Growing Teenager Diary) ..

  2. The strangest things lead to our blogs. The words that gave me the most hits are "St. Michael". I've barely written about him, and what I did not write much, but he keeps leading people to me somehow. The internet is something of a mystery.

  3. Hey, I just wanted to tell you that you got a Liebster award for your blog. Keep up the good work!

    Well then, it seems that as per the rules of the Liebster Award, I must inform you that you've been given one.

  4. Give sorrow words.
    The grief that does not speak.
    Whispers the o'er fraught heart and bids it break.
    what brings me here? the fact that i hate this month and all it holds and for all i can't seem to forget. the fact that i believe you are so near to heaven -- and i am ... not.
    the fact that i would rather wallow and be miserable in the darkness than honestly seek the light. the fact that i don't believe i will ever be able to lead a faith-filled life.

  5. @Anonymous...

    I am no closer to heaven than any other sinner my friend. We all have the same chance - we all have been given the same unmerited, fantastic, life changing gift of His infinite mercy. I still wallow. I still pout. It's a journey but, I try very hard to cling to the fact of Him and what He did for me. I look for things that remind me of it whenever I can. Even at my most darkest moments I try to think of just one thing to remind me of Him.

    There will always be regret. That never goes away. But you can choose how to deal with, what to do with it, what you allow it to do to you. Sometimes my regret causes me to do something reparative or write. Other times, my regret makes me think everyone would be better off without me here.

    Listen to the truth and try to ignore the lies you tell yourself at those times.

    I've posted this prayer before from Mother Theresa but her is a link. Read it over and over. Better yet ask someone read it to you. Even better, and I haven't done this yet, but would be worth it I'm sure - ask your priest to read it to you!!

    Have you called Project Rachel in your area? If not, call them ASAP.

    Don't give up and be not afraid!

  6. i don't have the courage to call.....or go.

    1. Pray for the courage. Do not be afraid. Just make one phone call and see what happens. Look up your local Rachel's Vineyard or Project Rachel office at your diocese. You could do some one on one counseling before a retreat. Call your parish priest and go talk to him. I promise nothing bad will come from reaching out. The fact that you are thinking about it alone means so much.

    2. I promise nothing bad will come from reaching out.

      i believed this....and you were right; i called. thank you.

  7. Oh my goodness! Tears of joy! I'm so happy for you. Do keep in touch.

  8. i'm gonna have to -- keep in touch. making an anonymous phone call is one thing.
    going is another.