Hope." The first time I saw a photo of this statue was in a flyer for a "Garden of Hope" that is not too far from where I live. It's a memorial for babies lost to abortion or miscarriage, for all babies lost before their birth. I've wanted to try to visit it a few times, but I'm not sure how public it would be and I'm sure I would sit in my car waiting for there to be no one around before I even attempted to enter the place.
I just love the sculpture though - it's so tear-jerkingly beautiful. Usually when I try to clear my head a bit and really pray... I picture myself walking along a pathway somewhere beautiful & serene, in nature somewhere, always by a lake or ocean for some reason... and there He is, waiting for me. Waiting... for me. Of all people! When I'm able to actually get to that place in my mind, it's glorious. I don't think I've ever imagined holding His hand - but that seems completely doable, right? Why wouldn't Jesus hold your hand if you asked, or just took his hand in your own? In the statue, it looks as though He took her hand though - either way, could you just imagine that? I don't know if I would even have to say anything after that - the hand holding might be more than enough. But hopefully I would talk. And I do try to talk with Him, in prayer and I try to listen, of course. I'm not always successful. Usually I fail miserably.
She looks like she's holding a necklace and maybe showing it to him - I'm not sure. I guess I'll have to look closely if I ever get to see the sculpture in real life. Most importantly is the fact that He is holding in his arm, on his lap, an infant. I can't really concentrate too much on that part of the sculpture, it's too difficult. Even now. But even a cursory glance tells me it's beautiful and fills me with hope.
The anniversary of my abortion is approaching soon... August 22. It will be 26 years since my abortion.
I haven't thought too much about how I may mark the day, if I do at all. Perhaps just going to Him in my mind will be enough. On my Rachel's Vineyard retreat and in counseling I've learned that grieving for the child you lost to abortion is okay to do - but I'm not sure I've ever really figured out how to do that. It's still difficult for me to say her name out loud.
Also in my rounds on the internet today, I watched a video about the latest prolife events in Texas, et al. I was shocked by some of the footage in a video when it showed an actual abortion being performed and a little, tiny, 12 week old hand being picked out of some blood and fluid. I've seen most of the graphic pictures of abortions - but this one today was different. I paused the video and just stared at the image of that little tiny hand.
I hope one day to hold Grace's little tiny hand in mine.