The Sixth Street Bridge

The Sixth Street Bridge
At the tender age of 17, I walked across this bridge, alone, into Downtown Pittsburgh, with $300 in my pocket that my mother had given me to get an abortion. I went into the Fulton Building (in the picture) and did what I was told to do. I didn't have a choice - if I did, I wouldn't have chosen abortion.

Monday, July 15, 2013

A Hand to Hold & Hope

I was working on a few things today and I came across this photo.  It's a statue called, "Hope."  The first time I saw a photo of this statue was in a flyer for a "Garden of Hope" that is not too far from where I live.  It's a memorial for babies lost to abortion or miscarriage, for all babies lost before their birth.  I've wanted to try to visit it a few times, but I'm not sure how public it would be and I'm sure I would sit in my car waiting for there to be no one around before I even attempted to enter the place.

I just love the sculpture though - it's so tear-jerkingly beautiful.  Usually when I try to clear my head a bit and really pray... I picture myself walking along a pathway somewhere beautiful & serene, in nature somewhere, always by a lake or ocean for some reason... and there He is, waiting for me.  Waiting... for me.  Of all people!  When I'm able to actually get to that place in my mind, it's glorious.  I don't think I've ever imagined holding His hand - but that seems completely doable, right?  Why wouldn't Jesus hold your hand if you asked, or just took his hand in your own?  In the statue, it looks as though He took her hand though - either way, could you just imagine that?  I don't know if I would even have to say anything after that - the hand holding might be more than enough.  But hopefully I would talk.  And I do try to talk with Him, in prayer and I try to listen, of course.  I'm not always successful.  Usually I fail miserably. 

She looks like she's holding a necklace and maybe showing it to him - I'm not sure.  I guess I'll have to look closely if I ever get to see the sculpture in real life.  Most importantly is the fact that He is holding in his arm, on his lap, an infant.  I can't really concentrate too much on that part of the sculpture, it's too difficult.  Even now.  But even a cursory glance tells me it's beautiful and fills me with hope. 

The anniversary of my abortion is approaching soon... August 22.   It will be 26 years since my abortion.

I haven't thought too much about how I may mark the day, if I do at all.  Perhaps just going to Him in my mind will be enough.  On my Rachel's Vineyard retreat and in counseling I've learned that grieving for the child you lost to abortion is okay to do - but I'm not sure I've ever really figured out how to do that.  It's still difficult for me to say her name out loud. 

Also in my rounds on the internet today, I watched a video about the latest prolife events in Texas, et al.  I was shocked by some of the footage in a video when it showed an actual abortion being performed and a little, tiny, 12 week old hand being picked out of some blood and fluid.  I've seen most of the graphic pictures of abortions - but this one today was different.  I paused the video and just stared at the image of that little tiny hand.

I hope one day to hold Grace's little tiny hand in mine. 


  1. I was at the Pirates baseball game yesterday. From most of the seats at PNC Park you can see the Fulton building clearly, but from where our seats were yesterday, it was almost the exact angle of the photo at the top of your page. I always think of you when I'm in Pittsburgh, when I see that building, but yesterday it was different. I kept thinking of you walking across that bridge alone, I wondered where you lived that you could walk, if it was near where my Dad grew up in the West End, how scary it must've been, how different from the crowds of people crossing it to go to and from the game. I prayed for you and Grace and I will continue to do so. I will light a candle for you both on Aug. 22 - in the confident hope that you will one day hold your Grace's hand.

    1. Thank you so much for your prayers and support. The Fulton Building is just an icon there for some reason and every shot of Pgh from that side of town - there it is. I lived in the northern suburbs of Pittsburgh at the time and I drove down and parked at Three Rivers, when it was still there of course, and I walked up the steps and over the bridge. Ironic, but in college I had a job on that side of town and would walk across the same bridge to go into and out of town. It's just always there. I sometimes picture walking across and getting Grace and walking back over holding her hand. Allegheny Women's Services were there for a long, long time so I'm sure I'm not the only one with that memory of that bridge.

  2. I'm sure you will - He is as much her Heavenly Father as yours, and a forced decision is no choice at all, and a regretful soul will always be forgiven. Hold onto that hope, dear one.

    It's a lovely sculpture. I hope you can get closer one day - perhaps with Jesus holding your hand and guiding you.

  3. So beautiful. Thank you for sharing this message of hope. All will be redeemed and perfect one day.

  4. Wow ... I decided on Wednesday night to begin a blog about my post abortion journey and redemption and was up the entire night pouring words onto the pages. I was in tears reading yours. There are SO many women out there like us. Thank you for sharing and your uplifting messages!!!

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